Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Toys

Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Toys

With the release of the latest Fifty Shades of Grey movie, more people are once again discovering or renewing their curiosity about BDSM. Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, Sadism/masochism: exploring what each of these things mean can take a lifetime. The journey begins somewhere. Here, we are going to look at some of the more common tools that people turn to as they begin their exploration into the world of Kink: Impact toys.

Safe, Sane, and Consensual

Safe, Sane, and Consensual are the three cornerstones of BDSM. Different activities will always have different levels of risk, so it is important that you always see to you and your submissive’s safety. Before engaging in activities, take time to learn how to use the item and study safety precautions (such as safe areas to strike). Talk about a session before and after to ensure both of you are comfortable with the activities in the scene and the emotions they will bring forward. Finally, have a Safe Word for your submissive to signal if a scene needs to pause or end early. Make sure that your submissive has set limits and take care not to cross those limits. Remember that consent is ongoing. To help ensure a pleasurable scene for both of you, check in with your submissive during the scene.

Whips, Crops, and Paddles

Used for sensation and impact play, whips crops and paddles are a mainstay of BDSM. Correct strikes are important when using them (strike from the wrist or elbow, never the shoulder) and striking the correct areas of the body is vital. Your safest strike zones are the buttocks and outer/back thighs. You can strike meaty or strong areas of the back as long as you avoid the spine and around vital organs. You should use care when striking the arms, chest, and genitals so that you do not strike too hard. Always avoid the face, neck, head, and breastbone.

Riding Crops

Riding crops are wonderful to begin exploring BDSM play. They are simple to use, look fierce, and become an extension of your body easily. The best part is that you get a lot out of it with very little action. You do not have to strike hard with the crop; the sound from the popper is fierce and will strike fear in your submissive no matter how light the impact. It helps to build up tension and anticipation.

When considering the type of riding crop to purchase, you want one with a light, flexible shaft. The popper on the end should be large enough to strike without accidentally hitting your partner with the shaft. It does not have to be leather and does not have to be hard. Choose a popper according to the kind of sensations you want to provide. A clapping popper will be loud. A soft or feathery popper will deliver light sensations. A stiff popper will make a harder strike.

It is important that you strike only with the popper. The shaft of the riding crop is thin and flexible, allowing you to create loud cracks with the popper with lighter strikes. Unfortunately, the shaft of a traditional riding crop is also fragile. Striking with it can lead to breakage and injury.

Floggers

For many, the flogger is synonymous with BDSM. Simple to use the flogger is both pleasurable and a fierce tool.

The ideal flogger will have a solid grip that will not slip in your hands. Leather or leather-like materials are the best for grip. Other materials, such as the Blown Glass Flogger should be textured to help give you a solid grip. Choose a flogger with the type of thongs you want for sensation. Leather and leather-like materials will deliver a solid strike while suede will be slightly softer. Light cloth floggers are good for soft sensations while thick cloth floggers make a good warm up to help prepare your submissive for a heavier impact session.

When striking with the flogger, use your wrist and elbow to pivot the strike. You may use your waist to help add torque but you should never strike from the shoulder. Shoulder pivots are difficult to control. Hold the lashes with your free hand to help control their direction and avoid “wild lashes.”

Paddles

A paddle is a nice beginner tool because it acts easily as an extension of the hand. Not all paddles, however, are created equally. Thicker paddles deliver heavier strikes while thinner paddles have a sharp sting. The material the paddle is made of will also affect the type of strike. Wood will feel different from plastic or vinyl.

Before choosing your first paddle, test it out on your hand and thigh so that you have a good feel for the kind of strike you will need and what sensation it will deliver. Materials, shapes, and sizes vary widely for paddles and which you choose will depend on your preferences. Your paddle should not have unnecessary decorations on the striking surface. Studs are fine; studded paddles deliver a certain type of strike (and you will want to use one with extreme care and only after you have more experience). The striking surface should not have rhinestones or any decorations that can flake or tear off. Your paddle also should not have lose strands that can tangle easily on your submissive.

Strike with your wrist until you know exactly how much force you should apply with your chosen paddle. Most strikes are wrist strikes, but some may allow you to pivot at the elbow. Be careful that you do not use a harder strike than the paddle or your submissive can handle. Breaking a paddle can be dangerous.

Multi-Tasking Tools

Some impact tools are multi-taskers. The Blown Glass Whip serves as both a flogger and a dildo. Since you will want to use plenty of lubricant with the dildo, it is best to only use that end after you are through with impact play. If your partner is up for it, use light to medium strikes with the flogger between her legs. The impact should be more pleasurable than painful, though if she likes some pain the two of you can increase the intensity of the strikes until you reach a good point for her. Once she is thoroughly aroused (and has possibly orgasmed) from the strikes, use the dildo end.

The Fetish Fantasy Feather Crop offers a similar style of dual sensation. Fortunately, with this tool, you can move between both ends freely. Alternate between the feather end and the popper end, tickling and then striking your submissive. Mix up how you alternate the sensations. For added tension, blindfold your submissive so they cannot see what end you are about to use.

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